Hello little man...
It's been 3 months since you left us and Mommy is still so sad... I try to put my sadness to the back of my mind but it keeps coming creeping back when I least expect it. I changed your little friend Davin's bum today when we went to visit his mom, Cheri and I was fine until I realized that it should have been you on that change table, having a playdate with your little buddy, you and him laying on the floor together playing with toys and being snuggled by your mommy and doted on by your big sisters... You both probably would have been about the same size and everything by now since you're only 2 days apart in age... I really truly appreciate that his mommy let me snuggle him so much today though... even though it hurts, at least she's not scared of having me hold him and it does heal me too... It helps me to remember you and think of what you are growing like up in heaven.
We found out yesterday why we lost you... your placenta had something they call a placental mosaicism and it just wasn't healthy enough to bring you into this world... I don't know if you would have been here had we done something to bring you into this world sooner but I will always wish we could go back in time and just try... I'm glad we know why we lost you but it doesn't make it any easier to let go of you... Please watch over us little one and tell God you want a little brother or sister soon. I love you baby boy, mommy's sweet little man...
Love you always...
Mommy
8 comments:
Im new to your blog but unfortunatly not knew to this club. I just wanted to stop by and introuduce myself. I am Jennifer, mommy to my precious angels Bryston and Peanut. Your letter to Kaelen is so touching and I love your slide show. Such an adorable angel. *HUGS*
I'm thinking of you today.
That was so beautiful and so heartfelt...
Hugs...
((hugs))
I just recently started following your blog, I'm sorry that your handsome Kaelen is not in your arms, but flying above. ((hugs))
I am glad that you have an answer...sometimes having that answer brings even more questions, but in the long run I think it helps. Thinking of you and wishing you many hugs...
BTW stop by my blog, there is a suprise there for you in honor of Kaelen! Happy Valentines!
I just came across your blog tonight and i am so sorry for your loss. One word struck me.... placental mosaicism... that's what my OB/MFM mentioned that may have caused my low fluids, Nolan's IUGR and also contributed to the pre-e/HELLP. All my other testing came back normal, clotting disorders and everything. It's just frusterating.
I also have plans on joining NILMDS as a photographer but need to do so when my heart is ready and I think it will take bringing a baby home before I can take my photograpghy there.
I am sending prayers and hugs your way and look forward to getting to know you.
Much love,
Ashley
Post a Comment