If ever there is a tomorrow when we're not together, there is something you must always remember.
You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think;
but the most important thing is, even if we're apart,
I will always be with you.
~ Winnie the Pooh

Monday, October 11, 2010

11 months...

It's amazing how time passes by so quickly for everyone else but me... Everyone was over for Thanksgiving today at our house... and no one remembered that you would've been 11 months old today... except me, your Mommy. Everyone fought and made a big deal of such stupid things, things that in the grand scheme of things just don't matter.

None of it matters, even one little bit... it's just a bunch of stupid stuff that really should be let go of because you never know what day will be your last or the last of those special people in your lives and oh, how you'll regret your words on that day when you can't take them back anymore or say you're sorry...

You, my little man, are supposed to be here... making everyone smile and snuggling into your Mommy's arms when you're tired, sitting on Daddy's lap getting bounced around, giggling like crazy. It's hard not to imagine all those firsts you should have had and what you would've been like through them all... if you would've been as stoic as your sister was or if you'd be laughing like crazy through it all. I'll never know and I guess that's what hurts the most... never knowing how you would've been.

I love you so much, Kaelen... so so much and I wish you could've left a bigger imprint on this world than just the one you left in my heart. I still miss you today as much as the first moment we found out you were gone. Good night little one... good night.

Love,

3 comments:

car said...

That's just crappy that everyone could come to your house but not remember the significance of the day.

Sherry said...

I just started following your blog. I'm so sorry for your loss. Your baby Kaelen is so beautiful...It's truly heartbreaking how people choose to forget our babies as time goes on. It hurts even more when it's our loved ones..

Lori said...

Thinking of you....know these days are hard as it is. Hate that there was more that made them even tougher!
xoxo