If ever there is a tomorrow when we're not together, there is something you must always remember.
You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think;
but the most important thing is, even if we're apart,
I will always be with you.
~ Winnie the Pooh

Thursday, March 11, 2010

4 months old...

Hello little man,

Today you would have been 4 months old... you would have been smiling and cooing at Mommy and Daddy and your big sister. You would have been almost ready to start eating baby food just like your big sister did at this age. You would have been growing and maybe getting your first teeth. But you're in heaven instead of in my arms and Mommy's sad.

All your little friends here on Earth are going for their 4 month vaccinations and getting weighed and even though I would've hated hearing you cry when they gave you the needle, I would have loved holding you and making you feel better afterwards just like I did for your big sister... I would've loved announcing how big you were getting to all my friends and telling them how you were gonna outgrow your big sister one day.

I would've loved taking you with me everywhere and wearing you in all my beautiful wraps and slings... but you're being carried by an angel in heaven instead... and it hurts... I know they have the most beautiful wraps I can imagine in heaven but the ones mommy bought for you would have been more than enough here on earth if only you were here.

Mommy and Daddy bought you a special scrapbook with Dragons on it to put all your memories in. Mommy's going to try to make it special but it's so hard when all we had was 9 months to hold you... I hope we can celebrate your short life on earth sometimes so Mommy has more memories of you to scrapbook even if you aren't here... Please send Mommy a sign that you're still here... I want to see something to remind me of you each and everyday so I know God is taking good care of you in heaven.

I hope you welcomed Layla and Isaiah into heaven today and told them you were glad to have new friends even though their Mommy's and Daddy's are sad. Please make sure the Angels take good care of them too since their families want to see them as much as I want to see you someday. I love you baby boy... sooooo much... and just want to hold you forever in my arms... but I'll have to settle instead for holding you in my heart.

Love,