On one hand, I want to wish good riddance to this horrible year since it's the year I lost my son. On the other hand, I want to hold onto it as well because it's the only year that my son was alive and I knew him, held him, grew him. I want to move forward and possibly get pregnant again and have another baby to snuggle and love but I don't want to leave him in 2009... I know he will always be with me but it's hard to not feel like HE was 2009... I got pregnant in February, he arrived in November so basically for 2.5 months out of the year, he wasn't inside of me... so even though, I hated the end to 2009, I want to remember the good parts of it too; the little boy who grew inside of me and never left. So with that, I wish 2009 a bittersweet adieu and move on into the new year.
Watch over us little one. We love you and miss you.
Love, Mommy
3 comments:
I feel the same in some ways, but I am trying to focus as much as I can on the ways that we will keep Gracie in our lives, and the lives of her younger siblings. Hugs to you....
I am so sorry for your loss. I know how devastating these early months are especially, and the added grief that comes with not having answers. I pray that you find some moments of peace.
I know exacctly how you feel. I am so glad 2009 is over but I hate that so much time is passing and so quickly since we lost chase. The more time that passes I sometimes feel like he is fading and I hate that more than anything. I am right here with you on this.
hugs,
christy
Post a Comment